Lying behind the leefe debates are realities both sides are avoiding either intentionally or unintentionally. I have tried to out together a few.
1. There are ladies who allow men to sleep with them in single rooms yet won’t marry them because they’re poor.
2. There are men who are not financially capable and can’t marry even when they are given a zero leefey policy, yet they’ll go ahead and propose to ladies, keep talking to them for a long time and eventually sleep with them. If asked, they’ll say it’s because leefey is expensive.
(And this is popular amongst those who should know better)
3. Some ladies want the leefey themselves yet are hiding behind ” it’s the parents”.
4. There are men who can afford to marry per what they have today, yet have decided to wait till they build a mansion and buy a car. In the process, they’ll be fornicating. When asked, they’ll say leefey is expensive.
5. There are parents who are fully aware that their daughters are fornicating, yet they’ll resist marriage proposals either due to poverty on the side of the man or their daughter is too “young” to marry. When the daughter eventually gets pregnant, they’ll give her off for free to avoid shame.
6. There are parents who are fully aware that their sons are fornicating. In fact, they bring the ladies to the house. Yet when issues of marriage is raised, they’ll lament that their sons are too young to be married.
7. There are men who don’t want to choose ladies from families they can easily marry from. When asked, they’ll say their swag level is low. However when asked to present leefey to maintain the swag, they’ll lament.
8. There are those who are hiding behind “leefey is expensive” to justify their fornication. When they know they are where they are bcs they chose to date.
My brother, kindly face your reality and let the lady go.
9. There are parents who have married their daughters off to men who are zero on deen and eeman bcs they offered them expensive leefey.
May Allah make affairs easy for us, grant us righteous spouses and make us equally righteous. Ameen.